WAY BELOW STATUS QUO

As resident really-young-gun here at WBSQ, I’ve been pondering quite frequently on what I want to do with myself. Still being in high school, I know I have more than plenty of time to decide what I really want to do, but I’m under intense pressure to find out now. Fair or not, I bent to the pressure and racked my brain for occupations that I’d be interested in and had been considering – and I came up with a mind-boggling list – including, but not limited to, being a lawyer, entrepreneur, chemical engineer, writer (fiction), writer (non-fiction/science journalism), professor, location-independent freelancer, internet guru… You get the idea.

I’ve flipped prospective college majors so many times it’s scary. At first, it was something between biology, history, english, and international relations. Then came philosophy, then chemistry. Then came chemical engineering. Then came business. Then back to chemistry. Now I’ve flip-flopped yet again to being a firm undecided.

I really don’t know what I’m going to major in or do for a job, just because I have so many diverse interests spanning just about every conceivable academic subject. I hate being tied down by definitions – and, yet, by fitting myself into some college major or occupation, I feel like I’m defining something (me!) that refuses to be defined. I’m just too dynamic for that. You can’t distill my essence into my job and what I majored in while I was in college – no way, Jose.

And, you know what? I’m okay with not knowing for now. This is the path I’m walking on, and I’m going to keep going to see what happens.

The problem lies when everyone around you wants to suggest ways to live your life – even when they have the best of intentions. I’ve got people telling me that I should be this, or do that, or become something else entirely – and I’m bombarded with their suggestions daily. The pressure to conform builds and builds and builds, and, at times, I’ve been guilty of letting their voices overpower mine – just because I wanted to avoid a disagreement or confrontation, which is odd considering I’m a bit of a firebrand in conversation. I’ve come about this close to breaking down and conforming to everybody else’s idea of living correctly, before my conscience saved me by chiming in, “Uh, Brett, do you really want to sell your soul out just so you can make these people happy and find some peace and security in finally ‘deciding’ what you want to do with yourself, when in reality they chose for you?”. The answer: a vehement “NO!”

When you let their voices get in your head and you try choosing which one of their paths is the best for you to live, you’ve already lost. It’s a trick question; no matter what, none of their paths is the “best” for you to live. You’ve got to decide what path is best for you to live, given all the information available to you, and go hunt that down. You know yourself best, after all. And if you don’t know, go do things you like and experiment. You’ll settle on something. Even though I haven’t gotten there yet, I’m dead sure I will. It’s only a matter of time.

I don’t mean you have to shut out everyone and be a recluse who doesn’t value anyone else’s opinion. I just mean you can’t let everyone else do all the thinking for you – you’ve got to do all the thinking yourself, and, more importantly, believe in your own conclusions. Listen to what others say, but make a decision based on your own intuition and thought process. You’re the President, and you damn better read through a bill and evaluate it yourself before stamping it with your seal of approval.

Ergo, you must have close to total conviction in what you believe and what you want. If you don’t know, don’t beat around it – simply be convinced that you don’t know where you’re at, and let it be. Right now, I’m just focusing on doing things I like doing and letting the chips fall where they may – namely, writing, reading, teaching myself cool things, running AskExperience, biking, and playing hockey. After all, that’s all I can do – and I won’t bend to the outside pressure that’s telling me to come “join the real world” and do what everyone else is telling me to do. No sir. Sorry, chaps, that life’s just not for me – I’d rather enjoy myself while I’m still among the living.

I wouldn’t doubt that most of you have been told repeatedly to stop having “those crazy ideas of yours” and start living life like everyone else is (side note: when people say something use terms like “everyone” and “normal”, what the hell are they referring to? Answer: themselves and everyone like them). How much would you have lost if you listened to them before you even got started – or when you first got the spark to live unconventionally and do plain-ol’ amazing and groundbreaking things?

Here’s what separated you from the rest of the pack: you had complete and utter conviction in yourself. You shut out all the noise, looked into your heart (if you had X-ray vision like me you could do that for real), and knew how you had to act. Then, you threw yourself in that direction and started to fly, much to the chagrin of your stupified onlookers.

A wise man once told me that if you’re not choosing to define yourself, you’ll inevitably let others define you. If you don’t believe in yourself and what you’re doing – or refusing to do – you’ll let others choose your life for you.

So, here’s the question: are you defining yourself or letting others define you? Are you taking every step with conviction, or are you living life fearing the consequences of your every move?

Hello, all of you sultry, sexy entrepreneurs/innovators/creatives/dreamers/big-thinkers/ass kickers!

Would you be tickled to receive a ridiculously funny, likely outrageous, semi-indecent postcard from us–guaranteed to either make you laugh out loud or scratch your head and say, “That’s just wrong!“–from somewhere across the big, bad open road during Status Quo Smackdown Roadtrip 2010?

Good news–we’ll be sending them from random mailboxes scattered across the good ole’ US of A!

Each postcard will be from the place we’re in at the time, and will include a brief story of something outrageous that’s happened to us since we’ve been on the road.  Because…we fully expect to have lots of outrageous things happening to us on the road.  And just so everyone’s aware, it’s been decided:  Andi is our official tire-changer, should we need to get our hands dirty.  Something tells me with the way I think my tiny little 2 door hatchback is just as capable as any Hummer out there (read:  off-roading is a favorite past time), the spare will be coming in handy.  (Video guaranteed.)

So, how to sign up to get a post card?

Easy!

Donate us a buck or two (or $1,000?) to support our mission, and we’ll add you to the list!  We’ve partnered with Chip In, so you can see the goal, as well as how far we’ve progressed.  If you’re interested, head on over to check it out!  We’re really excited to be coming to see you all this summer.

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE ASH, ANDI & COLIN COOTIES FROM THE ROAD.

P.S. To send the postcards, we’ll be rounding up your home addresses privately.  We also promise not to stalk you and/or spy in your windows.

P.P.S.  We are looking for a designated contact person in each major city that can help us organize some things at the local level before our arrival.  If you’re interested in helping out, please send an email to ash@waybelowstatusquo.com with your name & city.  And maybe your favorite ice cream flavor.

Salud!

Looking for sponsorship is a brand new endeavor for me. Ok, let’s be real here, marketing anything this big, putting together media packages and press kits and emailing random people at big companies to get them to pay for my booze and gas, yeah, all that’s new. So you can imagine my excitement when Colin, Ash and I started talking sponsorship possibilities! No, really, I was super duper excited! What a fun new challenge! And totally terrified and several times tried to pass off all that work to Ash, who has some mad awesome degree in the field or something, and said I would just, you know, handle the coding, and such.

Until I remembered I had a connection that could prove to be very valuable. This was my chance to put on a pro face, do my research, make my little kit, talk a solid argument on why this whole thing should have their company name on it, and walk out with a million dollars. Okay, not that much. Just maybe a car and coverage for gas. (I’m intentionally being a little vague because the level of involvement here is still uncertain and I don’t have any wood around me to knock on, so I’m playing it safe and not jinxing anything.)

So here I go, pulling myself up by the suspenders, researching what goes into a proposal for sponsorship, insisting for myself that I get it all on one page so I’m only covering the essentials. In it, for those of you interested, I covered a brief background of WBSQ, future goals, etc., specific benefits to the company backed up by stats regarding our combined readership demographics and their (totally awesome!) level of response and involvement, as well as the alignment of our mission statement with this specific company’s goals. I designed the hell out of that piece of paper (really, I’ve never been so proud of such a piece of professionalism) and set up the meeting.

I’m going to break this down into the gist of the dialogue as I sat down at that table:

Friday, I biked to work.  Rather than my usual 1.5 mile jaunt to the metro, I trekked 19 miles to my office on my own power.  The trip was what I hoped for – self-supplied breeze on a warm, sunny day, providing enough exercise to justify eating a small restaurant for lunch.  I also got a little more perspective than I bargained for.

I travel to and from downtown DC every workday.  My commutes are filled with white collar workers and tourists, the former rushing around the latter like a (rather annoyed) river rushing around (rather clueless) obstructions.  Friday morning was different.  I glided past a few miles of large houses with a steady chorus of weed whackers and lawnmowers.  I realized that all that equipment was operated by people who are generally invisible to me.  I meandered through a park and saw people playing tennis.  I hopped on a bike trail and found people of all ages walking, biking, pushing babies in strollers, having conversations … all of them living life outside of an office, even after 9 AM.

It’s not surprising, except that it is.  No matter how hard I try not to get tunnel vision, not to see a limited set of lifestyles as normal, proper, or God forbid, all that’s out there, it’s easy to forget.

Do I have a point?  Sort of.

1) I love travel, but I don’t need to fly 5000 miles to get a sense of renewed perspective and add some excitement to my day.  I know I’m not the first one to think of this.  Ashley, for one, has discussed this lots at The Middle Finger Project.  It only took me about 20 seconds just now to find this quote of hers: “Living an excitement-filled, passionate lifestyle doesn’t always have to mean running off to Cuba, adorned in a Zorro mask and armed with nothing more than a leap of faith, in search of exotic cigars and cheap rum. ”
2) Next time it’s nice out, try biking to work.  It’s lots of fun.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Annie. I’m a working-at-it entrepreneur, just starting out. For a long time, I’ve considered myself a “closet writer,” filling notebook after notebook with journaling and stories and poetry and essays. I’ve made plans time and again to get serious about being published, but they all fell through with rejection notices.

Then, one day, I instinctively bought a smartphone with web access and an everything-type plan so I could be online as much as I wanted. To be honest, I couldn’t really afford it on my disability income, but I needed human connection. I was looking for disabled
people who were making something of their lives to motivate me. What I found were people wallowing in their symptoms.

So, I wandered. I discovered, at the same time, both freaks and entrepreneurs. The freaks helped me feel welcome, and the entrepreneurs helped me see I could be bedridden and productive. So, after 10 years of calling myself “disabled,” I changed my self-description to “differently abled” and began reading blog after blog to learn.

About three months into it, I began planning my own website, both to reach out to people I feel are my “niche” — those who have been abused and need to move on past healing to living — and as a platform for my writing.

I didn’t really know how to start. At the same time, Chris Guillebeau was offering his “Empire Building Kit,” which he pre-sold very inexpensive (considering the final cost). I couldn’t really afford that, either, but with some creative bill-shuffling, I decided I’d go for it.

It’s been daily progress since then. Chris sends out daily emails, which help keep me motivated. I’ve written ny Mission Statement, and instead of a one-page blog I’m developing a full website. I’ve drafted the landing page, my first blog post (with a list of about 20 more ideas), my About page, and am working om a Contact page. I’m going to write a separate detailed Bio so I can be authentic about the abuse in my childhood and resulting chronic pain conditions without it being in peoples’ faces. I’ve signed up as an affiliate with AdSense and (OK, complete brain fart) the book store. Neither will be overwhelming, and the books will be ones I’ve read that are pertinent. I’m figuring on a June 15 launch, tho I tell myself June 1. I even bought a GTD app that was on sale to keep me on track.

So, every day I wake up in considerable pain. And
all I have to work with is a BlackBerry Curve. And I’m 50 years old, which really does make change a bit harder. Some days I’m bedridden and on pain meds. But every single day I work on my dream.

So, how badly do you want it?

Do you see the connection in the above picture?  What makes sense about that?  Is it just the fact that being productive while cleaning makes someone a happier person?  Maybe.

Both sides are true stories and have real meaning (to me especially because I’m the one they happened to).  And this is the short breakdown:

Shampoo doesn’t go on the shower loofah.  Shampoo goes in the hair;  soap goes on the loofah.  I was tired and thinking and taking a shower and got lost and put shampoo somewhere it doesn’t really belong.  How depressing was that moment when I realized what I did.

Easily remedied, yes.  But the fact that I did it, what the hell?

Vacuuming and cleaning was indeed a much happier experience for me.  I cleaned a large portion of my house as a gift for Mother’s Day.  That right there, the act of doing something for my mom, did make me happier, but it didn’t bring me up to a place that I would call “happy”.

WBSQ is going to be a vacuuming experience for me, I just know it.  I’m way stoked about it, about meeting people in reality, and about proving to the lame doubters out there that the internet isn’t just for porn.

But in no way whatsoever is the event going to give me the cure-all to anything.  I would like to think of it as more of a push and a shove in the right direction rather than a prescription to be gotten from the anti-mediocrity pharmacy.

If I expect this kickass project to give me more than is intended, I’ll be left in the cold with nowhere to go and nothing to do except squeezing more shampoo on the loofah.  I was already traumatized by it once.  I don’t want it to happen again.

A few years ago I was emailing back and forth with my sister about our respective work days. She had commented about an inside joke amongst her coworkers regarding when they had a rough day where either customers or a boss “runs over them”, leaving them feeling as though they had been hit by a bus. In a moment of quick wit I responded back to her with three words: Be the bus. This became our new inside joke. Our turn on the situation to help us refocus and keep moving forward. Anytime we felt as though life was out of hand we would use it as a reminder, and it worked!

This is not to say that you should be the one rolling over other people. You should be the one keeping things moving and bringing other people along with you. The power of the group is not to be underestimated. They can help keep you moving when you feel like you’re out of steam. That is the beauty of a site like WayBelowStatusQuo.com. Too often people try to step out and do it all themselves. Entrepreneurs can be the worst offenders of this! By joining together we can be stronger then we are alone.

In April of 2009 I found myself feeling like I had been hit by the bus. I had been so busy with “everything else” that all of my important stuff had slowed down to a crawl or died altogether. The problem is that I had hardly noticed I was “in the street” until the bus came along and knocked me so far down that I was able to see the state I was in. That was the point when I decided to refocus my efforts. It took a while to figure out the direction I should head but through some trial and error I got myself up to speed again. I’ve been adding on people who want to come along for the ride and can help me along the way. Today I can happily say that I AM the bus again. How about you?

After reading Tim’s earlier post and the subsequent comments, I figured I could share something of value here.

I believe I’ve gotten quite good at finding like-minded people in the real world. That is, people who aren’t satisfied with mediocrity; people who are willing to work hard to make a better life for themselves, while helping and inspiring others along the way.

How do I find such people?

The biggest key for me is putting myself and my ideas out there. I write mostly about personal development on my blog, and I promote each post on Facebook at least twice. Because of this, all my Facebook contacts — the majority of whom I know from the real world — have a pretty good idea of the type of guy I am and what I’m all about. Every now and then one of them will reach out to me and suggest we meet up for a chat, because “what you wrote really hit home with me.”

I’ve been surprised by some of the people who have reached out to me like that, folks I never would have guessed shared similar thoughts/goals/experiences/fears/challenges. Even if we’ve never really been close, they feel safe getting deep with me because they’ve come to know the type of person I am through my writing.

They know I won’t laugh at that crazy dream of theirs. More likely, I’ll help them live it.

I also try not to do small talk. Instead of discussing the weather or the latest news, I’d rather ask people what big unrealistic goals they’d set for themselves if they were guaranteed to succeed, if they knew they couldn’t fail. And after they tell me, often laughing or shaking their heads as they do so, I’ll respond in all seriousness: You should totally go for it!

Yeah, lots of people stay away from me now

But I like that. Just as important as surrounding yourself with positive, like-minded people, is staying away from negative, small-minded people. I’ve found that the more I put myself out there — the more I challenge people to be the best they can be — the more I attract the type of folks that help build me up and repel the types that drag me down.

So that’s my advice: Speak your mind more. Share your hopes and dreams with everyone. Let the world know who you really are and what you’re aiming for. Then you won’t have to go looking for like-minded people; they’ll find you.